he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
