she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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