The maid of honor just puked.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
