We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
