The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize