Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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