It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
