All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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