I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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