Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
