If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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