I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
