Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
