We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
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Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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