he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whose ass print is on the piano?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize