it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
