Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
