FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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