I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
