We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize