I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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