I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
