Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
