I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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