Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
