He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
