today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this