We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
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I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
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The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?