What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
