I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
