theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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