Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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