we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
