Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
