All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
