I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize