Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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