i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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