Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
