youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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