just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
