he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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