I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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