At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize