omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
