in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
