Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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