You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
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I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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