Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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