yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
