That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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