i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
