counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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