This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he puts the penis in happiness.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
