can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
