worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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