Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
