Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Is that strawberry winking at me??
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
