i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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